Prom is coming, Julia was asked to go, and the exciting preparations began. We quickly needed a dress, some shoes, some other accessories probably, and a flower for her date. Shopping for a dress and shoes began in earnest, especially from her mother.
But wait—this is a date and Julia has only gone on “group dates” before. Prom is a big one. Alan (not real name) and Julia have been in several High School Plays together. We know who he is. But we wanted to find out more about him and set some expectations. That’s my job as Julia’s father and protector. We setup a time for me to interview Alan.
My first thought was to go for intimidation and borrow a collection of weapons for when he came over. A better idea was to help him understand the privilege and responsibility of keeping our daughter safe. We wanted to set some boundaries for both of them and hopefully make their time less awkward.
Dennis Rainey, the director of Family Life ministry, has 4 married daughters. When they were teenagers, he interviewed all of their dates and in the process decided to share his ideas in the book Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date. I had skimmed most of it already, but I re-read the book over a lunch hour. From principles in the book I wrote down some questions to ask Alan and defined physical guidelines.
I met with Alan and went through the interview. Both of us lived through it. So far so good. It felt awkward to me, but I hope it will be ultimately helpful. Please pray for our family as we continue to prepare for prom in a couple of weeks and keep lines of communication open between Julia, Alan, and us.
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